Filed under: Family, Life, Vent like a pot pie out of the microwave, school, warm fuzzies, work, your mom | Tags: Beck, crazy, Food, Hollywood Bowl, Jalapeno peppers, milk, thirtysomething, voice changing
My oldest boy’s voice is cracking like Peter Brady. [OMG, I am really 33 years old.] He sustains life solely on hot pockets and frozen chocolate chip waffles (his choice not mine). He is getting an A+ 100% in Algebra in the 7th grade. He amazes me the way he makes school look like cake.
I bit into a Jalapeno pepper whole heartedly at the most esquite baby shower I’ve ever been to. It left me red faced and in tears from the fire on my tonque and lips. Milk is the only cure. Just because I am 30-something doesn’t mean I have ceased doing stupid things. Sometimes I wish it does but, then life would be boring.
I saw Beck at the Hollywood Bowl which I thought was excellent. Thom will tell you and his guitar geeks he was not impressed. Yes, you can take a bus from Lakewood to Hollywood Bowl for $5. You may bring alcohol. Yes,” bottles and cans, clap your hands, Clap your hands.” I have related to Beck for a long time. I don’t know how many times I insisted to anyone who listen that I had a Jazzersize shirt back in the day. Had to be there. My age right now is really bizarre. When I was 14, I watched Thirtysomething When I go to concerts and see the young hipsters I feel Grandma and wizard like at the same time. I feel that all of this knowledge and history and I have absorbed is too much and I want to spill it all out everywhere. Blah blah blah. I want to have the strength to give up alcohol and meat. I want to give up food for that matter. Eating is for pussies. HA ha ha ha ha.
I’m tired. ‘I will tell you about the Green Tea and most embarrasing work moment in my life later.
Filed under: MomLand, work, your mom | Tags: cube, full-time, new job, Office
Well it’s been almost a month since I left the last job. I interviewed for this job the Friday after the Monday that I left. There was a lot of HR red tape to get through however, yesterday was my first day. I am not used to a building with so many employees in cubes. Last job was, as my Rad-Tech teacher described, a doc-n-a-box. Before that I worked at the school district which really wasn’t like work, more like mothering. And previous, it’s been a slew of retail jobs. Perhaps it just the right time. Had I had a regular 9-5er in the past I would have been slaughtered with the child care cost of three. Sam is 12 and a half now, and I think his voice is changing.
Last nite Horchata and I watched Office Space, how apropos.
Filed under: Family, Life, warm fuzzies, your mom | Tags: first born, kids, love bi-products
3 awards:
First Place Science -Individual
Second Place Super Quiz-Team
Fifth Place Over-All- Team
Kids had school projects all due the same week. Noah had to create a flip book of the solar system, complete
with extra credit styrofoam comet. (Sam is working on his soda and mentos experiment). Aaron had to do a report on Meriwether Lewis. We have been going a million miles an hour trying to keep up with ourselves. Last weekend was x-ray school for 16 hours and a surprise baby shower. And at the end on Sunday, Thom and I saw The Raconteurs. It was the usual work week but on Friday, I had one kid home with a sore throat and then I had to give away a kitty. 
I got news one brother is moving away to San Francisco and I only have this weekend to say Goodbye. So Vegas brother is down here chilling so we can have a proper, “Peace, Out!”
The Bones family had a walk down memory lane last night, when I busted out some old videos of the boys when they were wee. When Noah was born, Sam was 6 weeks shy of 3 and Aaron was all of 16 and a half months old. I had my hands full. Thank God I got Sam potty trained right before Noah was born because 3 in diapers were just too much. With 3 consecutive pregnancies I spent a lot of time at home (not riding roller coasters, drinking alcohol or caffeine).
In one of these Videos I have a 2 year old Sam clad in diaper and T-shirt dancing to Sesame St. and Aaron crawling around. The times were so sweet and sour, I thought I would never get a break and now I sure miss the chubby thighs. Wanna reminisce with me? Here’s the Sesame St. Song.
Filed under: Art, MomLand, warm fuzzies, your mom | Tags: 5th Grade, Oscars, Science Camp
I sat on the couch Sunday evening, watching the boob tube (everything’s about boobs) with Two-buck Chuck filled in the wine glass next to my feet on the rug. I felt my amplified emotions get the best of me as wept for
Marion Cotillard
who had won Best Actress for La Vie On Rose. I had been out all Sunday shopping with Aaron, my 2nd oldest son, who was set to leave for 5th Grade Science Camp, Monday morning. Thinking about his impending week long absence was a recking ball on my heart. Wondering if he was going to spend his 4 and a half days crying at night in absolute loneliness with no one to comfort him. I was really worried about cruel kid ridicule coming down on him. For some reason, although I had been through this before with my oldest, it was tougher with the middle one.
Encore tears came streaming along for Hansard and Irglová
and Diablo Cody who also won Oscars. Didn’t you adore Once Actress Markéta Irglová’s Wonderful
Oscar Acceptance Speech ? After she was first snubbed by “the music” and then brought back on stage to have her moment, say her thank- yous and encourage all of us dreamers that anything is possible.
And I loved how Diablo Cody (clad in skull and bones earrings, tattoos and black bobbed hair-do) said “Thank you to my parents for loving me the way I am.”
This morning I rode with a friend and fellow mom (who has 3 offspring, like myself in the same grade) a short hour and 20 minutes to Thousand Pines with 5th grade luggage and sleeping bags in tow. After arriving at camp and talking with other 2nd timer parents, I found that I was not the only delusional mother who had feared the worst. One mom added it’s not tonight she’s worried about. “Wednesday’s the night when they crack.” Great. I want to be the only one cracking. God, spare my kid would ya?
Filed under: Art, warm fuzzies, your mom | Tags: boobs, breasts, cross-stich, friends, Hair, housewives, knitting, knockers, tits
This one goes out to a brilliant friend who’ s currently in love with hair and knitting.
First a little boobage, because, you know how I roll. This one’s called Cousin Tit. Of course the reference to The Addam Family’s, Cousin it. 
Which kind of reminds me of my bearded spouse that I am madly in love with:
Who may be getting a trim soon.
Getting back to the friend who is living in coldy rain land. I found this in a link Thom sent awhile back that had beautiful kitty wigs and this:
subversive cross stitch
Where one can purchase these gems.
Anarchist Housewife mantra for the day:
As long as your
house is clean,
your mouth doesn’t have to be.
Hope to see you in March Johanna!
You can’t make this shit up. So after months of no heat due to the relic in the hallway breaking down and landlord negligence, we get some guys to install a new heating unit with thermostat. Tuesday night after screaming “Brush Your Teeth, Go to BED!” 84 times, Horchata and I get a moment of peace in our room. Remote falls behind sidetable. Sidetable is moved to reveal the lower portion of the wall splattered with mold growth. Holly Fuck, mental breakdown Batman. So it took the guy over a year for the response with the termites, and about a season for the heater. How long is he going to drag his feet on the mold?
Crying and sobbing on the way to work Wednesday as I marinate in my melancholy, I dream about moving. A huge task especially when involving children & schools. All the while I am trying to watch what I eat and not emotionally eat. Double fuck everything with fries, and lots of alcohol… But that is no long term comfort because when clothing is tight I feel like everything is wrong. Well basically it is, chubby or not. *Note to self in the midst of this madness must finish organizing Noah’s Birthday event and convince parents of classmates I am of well mental health and stability.
Not to mention the starting of a new morning rad-tech class at 8 in the morning. This morning was my second class. Thom, Sam, and I left at 730. Aaron and Noah were to leave at 8 and walk across the street to school. Phone message from school at 930 as I’m driving away from school, says my kids are absent. Phone call to the school office confirms they are not there. Phone call to kids cells, they’re at the house. They were running late because they could not find there folders and had some sort of logic if you are a half hour or more late, school will not take you. From the time I was able to talk to them, and alert Horchata at work, they had been scolded, re-scolded, and pre-scolded for a re-scolding. They are going to bed at 8 and getting up at 630 tomorrow.
Now to regain some composure to function in a high stress work environment with a smile.
Filed under: MomLand, your mom | Tags: children, chores, domestic, kids, lists, soup, wife
Dropped Jr. High School kid off this morning and straight to my list of getting ‘er done before the kids get home from school. First stop: Target for necessities like glamorous laundry soap and dog food. Next stop, semi-clean kitchen enough to get the chicken in the crock-pot. Next, Blockbuster, turning inc
Je t’aime Paris, for some Artic cute polar bear flick for the offspring. Next, 99 cent store for Oregano (cheap spices there) for tortilla soup recipe I found in Family Circle. Yes, I, Mrs. Bones, will read such materials of housewife fame, along with my steady reading of Rolling Stone. Then home to gather a package to send to Oregon, and 10 items for the cleaners for Horchata
Whew. Kids home in 30 minutes. Gonna make some coffee
Filed under: Family, warm fuzzies, your mom | Tags: children, kids, motherhood, tea
My Noah told me he was sure to cough while I was telling my boss I wouldn’t be in today. Although genuinely sick with a nasty cough and fever, He’s a genius. We layed around in our jammies for quite some time. He watched Jimmy Newtron while I oogled online discounts buys. Noah helped me pick out some goodies. Shhh. don’t say anything. It’s a surprise for Christmas.
We played one round of Battleship (I won), and four rounds of Connect Four (Noah won three!). I finally showered around 11:30 and drew a warm bath for the bubble boy.
What could top a warm bath than a lunch of strawberry waffles?
Nothing, except maybe a sip of two of Good Earth tea. I sure love my bug!
Staying home sick is the best.
Sorry dude, you’re going back to school tomorrow. Mama’s gotta go back to work.
