Filed under: Family, Life, Vent like a pot pie out of the microwave, school, warm fuzzies, work, your mom | Tags: Beck, crazy, Food, Hollywood Bowl, Jalapeno peppers, milk, thirtysomething, voice changing
My oldest boy’s voice is cracking like Peter Brady. [OMG, I am really 33 years old.] He sustains life solely on hot pockets and frozen chocolate chip waffles (his choice not mine). He is getting an A+ 100% in Algebra in the 7th grade. He amazes me the way he makes school look like cake.
I bit into a Jalapeno pepper whole heartedly at the most esquite baby shower I’ve ever been to. It left me red faced and in tears from the fire on my tonque and lips. Milk is the only cure. Just because I am 30-something doesn’t mean I have ceased doing stupid things. Sometimes I wish it does but, then life would be boring.
I saw Beck at the Hollywood Bowl which I thought was excellent. Thom will tell you and his guitar geeks he was not impressed. Yes, you can take a bus from Lakewood to Hollywood Bowl for $5. You may bring alcohol. Yes,” bottles and cans, clap your hands, Clap your hands.” I have related to Beck for a long time. I don’t know how many times I insisted to anyone who listen that I had a Jazzersize shirt back in the day. Had to be there. My age right now is really bizarre. When I was 14, I watched Thirtysomething When I go to concerts and see the young hipsters I feel Grandma and wizard like at the same time. I feel that all of this knowledge and history and I have absorbed is too much and I want to spill it all out everywhere. Blah blah blah. I want to have the strength to give up alcohol and meat. I want to give up food for that matter. Eating is for pussies. HA ha ha ha ha.
I’m tired. ‘I will tell you about the Green Tea and most embarrasing work moment in my life later.
Last Wednesday I met my mother-n-law with the kids at the worlds tallest thermometer. The thermometer read 108 as I rushed the kids inside Del Taco for cover from the burning soleil. “We’re across from the Alien Jerky,” I told her as we collaborated a meeting spot. The kids were anxious to get out of the car. I was anxious to get the whole drive over with since I had to work in the morning. Plus, It was our first night of freedom. What do people without kids actually do?
Wednesday night we just stayed home and rested.
Thursday I went out with the work girls to El Torito and had a delicious raspberry mojito.
Friday, dinner at Marisa’s Mexican Food followed by a quick stop into a local dive.
Saturday the heat was unbearable. We headed down for Venice Beach. I walked up and down the sidewalk with four blisters to find that our favorite spot had a line out the door with never foreseeing to seat people. We just wanted a cold beer and place to take off my shoes that were now torture devices for my feet. Damn it if i were to just wear flip-flops. The lack of pedicure dictated a loud “NO!” (Later Thom offered up his own shoes.) We finally settled at a place that had the cheapest hamburger and the most expensive pitcher. We were glad to sit some where and gaze at the ocean. Later on we went to our friend Brian’s where I had too many beers. Our landlord is flirting with the idea of selling our home. This and other pressures have made me sort of buckle emotionally.
Sunday the plan was kayaking with the jellyfish and a bbq at Thom’s co-worker’s place. The beer from the previous night made us miss the kayaking but I didn’t want to miss the bbq. Blue Sparks on the grill, smoke rising, and happy smells always make me feel good. We arrived at her cute place hidden away behind a beautiful old house that I desperately want to explore. Her place was decorated with beautifully selected low-brow art pieces with a mixture of framed vintage movie posters. I wanted to sleep and hydrate that day but our days were numbered until the kids get back. And even though the kids were gone other responsibilities were omnipresent. Cats were getting fixed to be picked up by 5pm. Monday loomed over us like a bolder ready to crush us.
So I had some vodka to kill the previous night’s pain. This hair of the dog was more like the whole dog. We had a great time and I most likely made an ass of myself and was really ill for two days afterwards. And all though I was convinced and mortified that I had humiliated Thom and co-workers alike. They convinced me otherwise. And my love for Thom has never been stronger. All of our faults and weaknesses smothered away in each other arms, in this house or any other place, we still have us. Oh and I think I have some new friends. 
Filed under: Family, Life, warm fuzzies, your mom | Tags: first born, kids, love bi-products
3 awards:
First Place Science -Individual
Second Place Super Quiz-Team
Fifth Place Over-All- Team
So those baby kitties still haven’t opened their eyes on this 11th day of their birth. We are all eager to play with them. Although they are 3 times the size they were when they were born, they don’t do much but eat and sleep. Gettin’ more fuzzy by the day. Theres a nice chunky one I favor. Been calling him “Gordo”. I know I can’t keep all these cats but I can’t bare to rip them from their Momma. 
Which reminds me I just saw Juno, last night. Liked it. Saw Micheal Clayton. Loved it.
Horchata is going to say goodbye to some guitar geek on Saturday after I get home from work. Apparently if you dig pedals, you like cats too.
Getting ready for my trip. Got the greenlight from the kids’ Grandma.
I have got to say that I am so sorry Jack Johnson killed Coachella. None of my friends are going either
But nothing could stop Horchata and I from eating ice cream in the desert.
The Bones family had a walk down memory lane last night, when I busted out some old videos of the boys when they were wee. When Noah was born, Sam was 6 weeks shy of 3 and Aaron was all of 16 and a half months old. I had my hands full. Thank God I got Sam potty trained right before Noah was born because 3 in diapers were just too much. With 3 consecutive pregnancies I spent a lot of time at home (not riding roller coasters, drinking alcohol or caffeine).
In one of these Videos I have a 2 year old Sam clad in diaper and T-shirt dancing to Sesame St. and Aaron crawling around. The times were so sweet and sour, I thought I would never get a break and now I sure miss the chubby thighs. Wanna reminisce with me? Here’s the Sesame St. Song.
Filed under: Art, MomLand, warm fuzzies, your mom | Tags: 5th Grade, Oscars, Science Camp
I sat on the couch Sunday evening, watching the boob tube (everything’s about boobs) with Two-buck Chuck filled in the wine glass next to my feet on the rug. I felt my amplified emotions get the best of me as wept for
Marion Cotillard
who had won Best Actress for La Vie On Rose. I had been out all Sunday shopping with Aaron, my 2nd oldest son, who was set to leave for 5th Grade Science Camp, Monday morning. Thinking about his impending week long absence was a recking ball on my heart. Wondering if he was going to spend his 4 and a half days crying at night in absolute loneliness with no one to comfort him. I was really worried about cruel kid ridicule coming down on him. For some reason, although I had been through this before with my oldest, it was tougher with the middle one.
Encore tears came streaming along for Hansard and Irglová
and Diablo Cody who also won Oscars. Didn’t you adore Once Actress Markéta Irglová’s Wonderful
Oscar Acceptance Speech ? After she was first snubbed by “the music” and then brought back on stage to have her moment, say her thank- yous and encourage all of us dreamers that anything is possible.
And I loved how Diablo Cody (clad in skull and bones earrings, tattoos and black bobbed hair-do) said “Thank you to my parents for loving me the way I am.”
This morning I rode with a friend and fellow mom (who has 3 offspring, like myself in the same grade) a short hour and 20 minutes to Thousand Pines with 5th grade luggage and sleeping bags in tow. After arriving at camp and talking with other 2nd timer parents, I found that I was not the only delusional mother who had feared the worst. One mom added it’s not tonight she’s worried about. “Wednesday’s the night when they crack.” Great. I want to be the only one cracking. God, spare my kid would ya?
Filed under: Art, warm fuzzies, your mom | Tags: boobs, breasts, cross-stich, friends, Hair, housewives, knitting, knockers, tits
This one goes out to a brilliant friend who’ s currently in love with hair and knitting.
First a little boobage, because, you know how I roll. This one’s called Cousin Tit. Of course the reference to The Addam Family’s, Cousin it. 
Which kind of reminds me of my bearded spouse that I am madly in love with:
Who may be getting a trim soon.
Getting back to the friend who is living in coldy rain land. I found this in a link Thom sent awhile back that had beautiful kitty wigs and this:
subversive cross stitch
Where one can purchase these gems.
Anarchist Housewife mantra for the day:
As long as your
house is clean,
your mouth doesn’t have to be.
Hope to see you in March Johanna!
Filed under: Family, warm fuzzies, your mom | Tags: children, kids, motherhood, tea
My Noah told me he was sure to cough while I was telling my boss I wouldn’t be in today. Although genuinely sick with a nasty cough and fever, He’s a genius. We layed around in our jammies for quite some time. He watched Jimmy Newtron while I oogled online discounts buys. Noah helped me pick out some goodies. Shhh. don’t say anything. It’s a surprise for Christmas.
We played one round of Battleship (I won), and four rounds of Connect Four (Noah won three!). I finally showered around 11:30 and drew a warm bath for the bubble boy.
What could top a warm bath than a lunch of strawberry waffles?
Nothing, except maybe a sip of two of Good Earth tea. I sure love my bug!
Staying home sick is the best.
Sorry dude, you’re going back to school tomorrow. Mama’s gotta go back to work.
Filed under: Family, Road trip, warm fuzzies | Tags: holidaze, kids, travel
Horchata and I are mulling over a Thanksgiving visit with some family out of state. Even with considering all the disappointments I’ve had with the past few times I’ve decided to travel, (3 times feeling guilty about leaving Horchata and the kids at home, 2 missed weddings, 1 abandonment by father), I still get excited about packing my hello kitty suit case and hitting the road.
Admittedly, I am an optimistic idealist with an unwaivering supply of hope. In the back seat I imagine 3 smiling children flipping through books or playing gameboys on silent. The car 
windows frame a wonder land scene in fast forward of: face make-up-tinted-desert-dirt swirling into Dancing Dust Devils with fellow entertainers, The Joshua Trees waving a warm welcome as our blue van noisily makes its way. The Flamming Lips is the soundtrack and sunglasses clad Horchata, is bopping his head as I speak inner truths and current revelations about myself.
In this fantasy there is no fighting, no throwing-up, no fast food wrappers up to my calves, and no strong lacking of cds. At least, there’s no missing Horchata and the kids, because they’ll be there, he won’t leave me behind, and there is no wedding jinx!
* I gotta get the girls together for non wedding adventure. In this fantasy I am 25 lbs lighter… more on that daydream later.
