Vampire Candy

No it is not Sookie in a white tank top sans bra.  It’s this here bubble gum.

  I don’t remember this as a youth.  But I did favor the candy cigarettes.  Those were the best.

I listened to Sherlock Holmes on CD today while I drove to work.  I entered hundreds of documents into a giant spread sheet of doom.  I stared at the fishtank and wished for a Beach House with 3 bedrooms, a dishwasher, and room for a dog and 2 cats.  I filled that the time killer get to know you form that goes around emails. I watched the fish some more and cleaned my desk. I left work and headed straight to the urgent care because my hmo provider will not give me an appointment in a timely manner so I am forced to sit with the sick masses for 3 hours to take care of business. I told the lady at the doctors’s office that I was ballooning into an unrecognizable version of myself and that she better damn well change  my medication. 

Here’s a funny from good ole’ Natalee DEE

 

Candy of the Week

If you are a gore whore, like myself, you will delight in the bodily fluid sweetness.  New Feature in A Spoonful, is candy of the week.  Stay tuned.

Secret Plant Societies

I have this plant that I love (feature it as my computer back drop at work).  And Now I find there is an entire society doveted to said plant.

Colleus Society. org for

Like minded individuals.

Picnic Basket

My spouse is losing poundage in a rapid way. Kids are out for the Summer and the heat is on.  Last night I put on the window fan full blast and was in absolute heaven. This weekend the kids are going to stay with their auntie.  I am looking forward to the break. Alas, the funds are exist in wee amounts so I don’t know what we will do.  Perhaps we will go to the Getty, just he and I and walk into every single exhibit.  We will eat lunch, smack dab in the middle of the spiral garden.

 

 

I am anxious.  Not in the way am eagerly awaiting an an event, a my nervous and compulsive.  I call every0ne on phone list with a desperate plee, ” Please save me from myself.”  Help me get away from me.  It June 17.   The heat in this small house is ridiculous.  At this moment Thom is at band practice trying get away from his pressures:  A job that is an endless hole of suck, kids that need supplies all of the time. rent that we barely make and a high maintenance wife. -Not the form of fancy hair products or designer clothing, infact I don’t know of another single female who gets ready quicker than I do.. I am needy.  I am emotionally crushing.  I also like knick knacks and homemade crafts. 

I heart beautiful kitchens

Golden Egg

This weekend was more work around the house.  It seems as though the kids inhale the food straight out of the van before I get the groceries in the house.  The boys eat and eat and eat and eat.  Having not a dishwasher is a part of suck when this happens.  I am having Easter dinner at my place, any one want to come?  My door is alway open to peeps whose families are less than desirable. Any way. I had non embarrassing drunken episodes this weekend.  But doesn’t mean I did not survive the weekend with out apologies.  Sux to be crazy sometimes.  This week is Spring Break and it is so nice not to have the school burden on my back for a few days.

It’s Ahwn, Like Donkey Kong.

Last Friday I found myself at a beautiful sushi place very close to my home.  Who would have thought the place that looked like scary hole in the wall  would be modern loveliness with cherry blossom paper lanterns glowing at me.  I bought a bottle of saki and a salad and some fried veggies.  I had a pms induced fight with spouse and need to get away from everything.  I drank the whole bottle of sake and it was large.  And then I realized  ooh shit, this is the type of bottle one shares not consumes all to themselves.  Whoops.  Sat day morning patient care class bright and  early at 8 am.  The kids get early Easter Cards from their favorite Great Aunt, and Thom I receive a Happy Anniversary card with $50.  Sweet.

Coachella Tix unbought and the thought of not going not acceptable.  I got text asking me if I had got mine. I think my reply was something like, nope.  And the auto non reply told me She already had hers.  Co-worker has had her tix forever, including Depeche Mode at the Hollywood Bowl.  Yes us old folk, we like us some Depeche Mode. Thom has been kicking ass at work.  And despite this upcoming paycheck of suck.  We are still going. 

Sunday night I went to a Cuban restaurant by my onesies, eating alone once more.  This time I was smart. I  ordered chicken and rice and only one beer.  Next I visited some friend and their womb fruit that I had yet to lay eyes on.

Up late tonight

There is a bottle of sake* the left of me and just took my anti-anxiety pill.  Work has been stress while I condense two full time jobs into one job.  I got my promotion on my Tony’s birthday, two days before Valentines Day.  They are still working on getting my replacement in. I am more than lucky to have a job at this moment and it is nothing short of a miracle. Mid February I was the lowest  employee paid out of 49 including the receptionist. Now I am working in Human Resources.  One thing I have learned is never accept the first offer.  There is a built in negotiation if you have the balls to ask.  You must pull out those balls or you will be a resentful asshole for some time.

I am struggling with the finishing of my A.S. Degree. The last two classes consume two nights a week plus a Saturday morning.  I have high self expectations of Martha Stewartisms around my house and quality time with my children. I have no time for myself these days.  I can not maintain an acrylic manicure at this point.  It’s just too much of a commitment. Plus, I can not stand the vietnamese banter in the background.  You know they shit talk.  You know it. I know it. They  know we know.  Blah, Blah and swallow it up because nobody want’s to hear about your bullshit. 

There is a luau in the works.  I love to throw parties.

Tonight I was pondering nude beaches. I’d like to go to one.  Is there a like a specific one I can go to like 30 plus, I don’t work out nude club.  

P.S. I  have seen a plethora of taxidermic dogs in movies and such.  Could I do that to Sugar.  That would be  slightly bizarre.*Loree’s favorite sake is: Nigori.  Shake it up until it looks like nonfat

milk.  It is sweet and tastes like yogurt.  What do you know?

That shit will fuck you up right quick.

Notes from Last Week

I made friends with my cleaning products.  I gave in to  my eternal grudge of resentment that I fervently  held against dust bunnies and wall smudges. I cleaned the refrigerator this weekend. I know this must repulse some but this is not a challenge I take on often. I used up an entire box of Magic Erasers on the walls that the kids drag their backyard, tree-climbing, chocolate-pudding-eatting, hands on.

 

  

Work is okay. I am grateful to have a job and getting a promotion in 6 months feels rather grand. The up-coming graduation is a well look forwarded to moment as well.

Turtle House

I an needing a moment to vent without apology, to release the particles into space that are clinging to lint balls of despair. I have absolutely too many obligations at this time and the inability to complete them provides me with dismal whoa about myself or perhaps that is the Ativan. One Science Project due on the Thursday for 6th grade. Laundry on coach that has been nice pressed by sleep dog cookie cutter shape sprinkled lovingly with dog hairs. Humm, do I put these away or wash the bastards again. That is the eternal question. Well nobody outside my house knows that I accidently broke my turtle’s house by trying to attempt the 20 lb glass sucker and failed. He was abiding in an blue ice cooler that had lost it’s lid and was becoming part of our yard art. I yi, yi .